I wish things were different at home. I wish Rebecca had more of a voice and would have talked to us before she moved out. Maybe then we could have a relationship with her and not have to hear through the grapevine that she is saying horrible things about us, and bad mouthing us on her facebook. I wish Christopher and Amberlin would stop making so many bad choices. They constantly are stealing and not doing all their work at school and then lying about it all. They get into stuff and do things that they know are wrong every day. Sometimes even the same thing they just saw the other one get in trouble for. I wish Kaitlyn would stop going out of her way to seem stupid and throwing attitudes EVERYWHERE!!! You ask her to do something and she tosses you an attitude and makes the whole feeling of the house go mean. She constantly says stupid things to get attention and we know she knows the difference. Utterly annoying. I wish my sister would learn that when I am watching a show or movie on television that I do not need or want a complete run down of her day or every interesting thing that happened on a show she watched or something about one of the actors in the show I am watching. I wish she would also stop telling everyone EVERYTHING like she is the expert on everything. She even told me when I do my math class when I get there, that she will do my homework for me. How am I suppose to learn then? Confused.
It's hard to go through a day without thinking or seeing all the sad things in our house. Also I am beginning to feel like I have no friends, that everyone at church is avoiding me. I know I am a horrible visiting teacher, but it is hard to be happy when you go to visit people and they are happy and you wish you could be happy. I hope that makes sense. It does in my head, but sometimes when I write it out I sound like a loon. It's hard to go through the day thinking that you have no friends. I want someone I can vent to, someone I can cry on their shoulder, someone to hang with. Sure I have Anne, but she has been to busy lately, I feel bad asking her to do anything because I do not want to take away from her seminary students. They need to learn what she has prepared all week to teach them. Everyone else, I feel does not like me or has no interest in hanging with me because they already have friends that they relate with better or have a long history with. Even Rachel found friends and she talks to them all the time!! Why is it I always find myself in someone's shadow? Richard's, Rachel's, etc?
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