How do you handle a child that just will not get it?! You tell them again and again, other people tell them and they still do not get it. I am talking about Kaitlyn. She still thinks that she is going to go back with her biological mother. She does not understand that it can never happen, but she still holds out hope. I wish she could see everything that she did and why she can not have them back ever. But how do you tell an 11 year old child that and not destroy her completely emotionally?
She wrote a disturbing letter last week and had to go see the counselor and GIS about it. Then wrote another one later because she enjoyed the attention it got her. Prior to that, she wrote Amberlin's name on the wall and then spent 4 hours lying to us that it was not her and it was. It was too high and not Amberlin's handwriting. And now to add insult to injury, she tells her principal and school psychologist that we beat her with a belt all the time. So now we have CPS talking to the kids at school! Then we find out that she has not been doing her school work and not going to band for monthes!
Richard says we need to love her more. How much more? We tell her we love her, show her we love, hug her, kiss her, play with her, try to make sure she is happy, but nothing seems to prove anything to her. I am at a loss as to what else can we do. Should I show her the court paperwork that says why she was taken away from her bio and how she did nothing the court asked to get her kids back? Does she not understand that she is not coming back? I really think she thinks that she is and that her adoption is only temporary until Kim comes for her. What the heck else can we do?
1 comment:
One thing that I have noticed about human nature, and it usually begins in a person's youth- Especially, if that person has been through a dramatic account in life- They actually change angles and divert their behavior often to get what they want. For example, if I told a naughty child "No, you cannot have that extra ice-cream cone!" The child would first say , but I like it, please let me have one more. Again, I say no, sticking to my battle ground. The child then comes back a few seconds later and says "Well, Ginger's MOM lets her have 2 cones a night, why can't I?!" Then I stick to my answer, once again. You will notice, the answers from the child not only adapt and change quickly morphing into something else, indeed, they spin into out right lies, eventually. I am not sure why exactly and when in life certain people develop this sort of manipulation, but the best way to handle it is to stay consistent as a parent- and do not adjust the results on your end, based on their hysteria due to giving into the child -- The child has to understand that rules in society, and life exist- We engaged in such laws resulting in order being kept. The Bible states to us, we must all adhere to the rules of our land. It begins with the parents, you and I- establishing them. Because she has a Biological parent else where- apparently, she is assuming things should be different for her, rather than the same as the other children in the house hold. It hurts sometimes to stick to our guns as a parent and stand our ground- because our children will weave and master complaints towards us that are designed to make us feel guilt. However, deep down inside, we know that we must teach them- and sometimes teaching means to be stern. Don't blame yourself- this is a common issue through-out the world. Indeed, I consider this a human plague, one of many that society has been stricken with thanks to the Adversary. Keep striving to teach and love- YOU guys are doing wonderfully.-- Blessing's always, Sister Lindley
Post a Comment